7- Sep-2010 Dear Ira, Yesterday your daddy was telling he wants his life to be , what he wishes and I could see you and Rudra as grown up adults . You are a free bird , and artist perhaps. I can also see you as a child , perhaps 3 or 4 years old , smiling and a little naughty. You have a beautiful smile and you always make me smile. Today during my yoga relaxation I saw you again and I smiled all through my session . D uring my sleep , I felt you are sleeping between me and your dad and as if I can touch your cheeks. I saw your paintings , some beautiful flowers. I wish I could paint like that , but i am too bad with the brush strokes. " Auspicious Creatures" , I heard this name , perhaps as your theme of paintings. I don't know where you are but I can feel you right beside me . I can feel your touch, I see your smile and I smile back. For days I was not sure if its going to be you or Rudra first , but now I see you coming in my arms soon. Rudra will follow you very so
Well , its not a new blog . I had published this blog in year 2013 when I was struggling with infertility. It was a earnest attempt to connect with people who are going through a similar experience . So many people connected with me in that blog as the cry came from my heart of what I articulated my journey of despair, hope and love. However in 2018 I deleted it . I do not recreate my blog again, but bring back some of the entries from my diary, as a mother, of how during my days of infertility treatment I had kept myself connected to hope with letters to my future kids. "Ira" and "Rudra" as I used to call my future kids, you will come across these names frequently as you read the blog. This blog is no more about infertility but genuine letters of a mother to her future kids.